Ms. Media

As someone who adores writing and pop culture, I figured I'd start blogging more about media, since it's a big part of my life. While my pop culture knowledge sometimes makes me feel like I have no profession other than that of couch potato--unfortunately a pro bono gig for now--there are sites and blogs completely dedicated to commenting on media in a snarky way and if I could actually make money off my random knowledge and commentary someday, I'd be quite the happy camper. Should VH1 ever bring back "The World Series of Pop Culture" I'll be on that thing like "The Real Housewives of Orange County" on a needle full of Botox. Since sarcasm is one of my love languages, it has always come very naturally to me to humorously critique television, film, music, etc. and I figure I might as well hone my writing skills while expressing myself. I like writing about various topics and will not pretend that consuming certain media will drastically change your life, but it often brings a needed escape and can lead to awareness of other people and issues you may have never heard of otherwise.

I don't claim to be an expert in anything, though I particularly adore Bravo shows. My dream entourage would include fashion guru Tim Gunn, "Top Chef"'s Tom Colicchio, OCD house flipper Jeff Lewis, D-List comedienne Kathy Griffin, "Workout" guru Jackie Warner and some of the "real" housewives of New York City for good measure--Bethenny and Jill are my favorites.

Today I'll be addressing "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List". I've watched this show for a while now, and even though it's in its fourth season and Kathy has won two Emmys for the show, possibly moving her up to C+ status, it is still entertaining to watch. Even more un-D-list though, is the fact that she has A-list celebrities in each episode this season, as opposed to her being the featured guest at some truly D-list event like a chili cook-off. But I'm sure those Bravo honchos want to make things more interesting and while Kathy can't really be too embarrassed by the scenarios she's put in this season, she is still ready with her sarcastic, sometimes-too-crude wit.

Episode 1 included Kathy getting a cameo role as a hooker in a Bette Midler show and then eating dinner with Bette at her posh Vegas penthouse and venturing around Vegas, touring the huge, self-indulgent Bette Midler store and even going to a hot dog stand with the Divine Miss M. In episode 2, Kathy cooked with Paula Deen and miraculously managed to survive without being deep fried or having a coronary. This week, she hung out with Paris Hilton, who I'd think would draw the line somewhere with her media exposure, but I suppose that's giving her way too much credit.

These celebrity playdates do not confirm Kathy's D-List status, so much as make me question the letter status of the celebrities hanging out with her. Surely, Paris Hilton has millions of people or dollars she could be spending her time with, especially one of her faux "BFFs" from another VH1 show that will milk four seasons out of a shallow relationship-making celebrity we don't care about. And considering that Paris has been one of the many targets in Kathy's stand-up, she is quite a good sport to spend so much time with the bold red head.

But before the trip to Paris can commence, Kathy begins her foray into attracting a younger audience by getting a facebook, which she puts her 80+ year old mother in charge of maintaining. Surprisingly, the boxed wine-drinking senior actually knows what e-mail is, but starts using the term "spacebook" halfway through the episode. Kathy, of course, has to jokingly fire her mother after the facebook page is not properly kept up. At one point while galavanting LA streets with Paris, Kathy checks her fb status to see that her mother has written, "Two Buck Chuck is on sale at Trader Joe's" and Kathy is comically mortified by Paris's disapproval of the uncool status. The status suits Kathy's mother perfectly though and is quite hilarious considering Two Buck Chuck is so cheap to begin with, but Kathy's mother is known for her frugality as much as her boxed wine consumption.

The Paris adventure begins--how else?-- shopping, which is apparently Paris's fitness regimen. After dropping $12,000 at Kitson--Kathy drops $14,000 just to outdo Paris and then returns the clothes later that day--Paris exclaims how exhausting shopping is. "People always ask me if I work out and I say, 'No, I shop. It burns more calories than working out'." Wow. So not only does the blonde giraffe not work out to keep her statuesque physique, but she has so much money to shop that the activity doubles as a workout. God Bless America?

Speaking of good physiques, when Kathy and Paris hit up a pool scattered with cabanas and pretty people, Kathy dons a two piece and looks fabulous doing so. No cellulite or bulges are anywhere to be seen. Maybe she's training with Jackie Warner of "Workout" because her 48-year-old abs are enviable at any age.

A Bravo cameo does make it into the show in the form of NYC housewife Jill Zarin, who shmoozes with Paris in Kitson and steals some of Kathy's BFF time. Jill is looking better too, by the way. This past season she looked thinner and much more in shape and she's seemingly had amazing, natural-looking work done on her face because she looks at least five years younger. Whatever she's doing is the way to go, unlike the OC Housewives, whose work is as subtle as Kathy trying to get publicity.

After a brief, random poolside phone call with Snoop Dogg, who calls Paris "Sweet Pea", Kathy and Paris change back into their flashy Young Hollywood threads and part ways; Paris, surrounded by a sea of photographers, and Kathy jokingly fighting off the one photographer who is shooting her. Either he's a big Kathy fan, or he lives under a rock and isn't aware that paparazzi get their money from the Bank of Paris Hilton, one of the few financial institutions still standing in this economy.